A night without a sunrise.

Things are not getting better. To quote a song by Phil Collins, “There’s no way out of this dark place.” “No ho hope no future.” “I can’t face another day.”  I cannot buy food with ten dollars. This apartment is a slum in a bad neighborhood.  Nobody will do anything to help me. The ones assigned to help me do nothing. My crew cares only for the ones who are treating me this way. Because of the way they are treating me. The wrong they are doing. if I want enough money to eat I’m condemned. If I want to live someplace safe, condemned. my crew is looking a vacation property and will not lift a finger to help me. I can no longer eat everyday. And nobody will look into the way my payee is handling my finances. Oh my God, no!! I was supposed to begin a “therapy” program, where I would be fed one meal a day. But forget that!! The one who was supposed to look into it is lazy!!! I’ve begun to feel like maybe I don’t have a right to eat. Or be safe. Or have soap for a bath or wash my hair. I’m getting very, very, very down on myself. As that Phill Collins song says, I pray someone will come along and take away the pain.” “I can’t see another way.” “I can’t face another day.” “Tell me where, did I go wrong.” “Everyone I loved they’re all gone.”  There’s no shelter from this storm that’s in my life.  This dark pit is extremely deep and dark. Becoming more so. Would people be happy if I wasn’t here anymore? it seems they would.

Appreciate what you have!!!

Apreciate what you have!!!

Apreciate what you have!!! If you have kids or grandkids, go give them a hug.  Or pets give them a hug. Even if you don’t get along with your family members, call and tell them you care about them! Look after your pets and keep them indoors or on a leash when outside! Even if your alone, What about friends or job? Coworkers? Be thankful for the roof over your head. The food in your kitchen. That your home is not full of water. That your electricity is on. That the winter is over and it’s spring. The flowers sunshine and trees.  Your computer. Water to drink. Don’t take it for granted. Just ask the people who were/are in the path of those tornadoes, and the flooding how fast it can all disappear.

No improvement in situation.

Well, my situation has not improved. Things are getting much worse. I can’t even afford to buy food anymore. Nobody cares. And the one assigned to help me does nothing. I’ll call him Joe. The bills are high here In this nightmare place. Joe was supposed to be helping me find a cheaper place to live. But forget it. All he does is talk to me on the phone. He works at the same place as my “payee.” And all they do is make excuses. I literally  wonder if I was put here, and abandoned to die. Do these people want me to die? it feels like that sometimes. That they would rather I died than have the payee or Joe do their job. My “family” seems to feel the same way. The look at vacation property while I go hungry. One is moving to another country. Well good riddance!!!! Hope they don’t bother me again.The “advocates” here are as useless as Joe. There is nobody who cares bout me. (Accept for my cat Shania.) All they do is support the ones who treat me like dirt. I can’t take this much more. My “payee” just called me. My check last week was stolen out of my mailbox. According to her. I told her I wanted to pick my checks up from now on. But she refused. Will I be robbed again? Why give what little money I have to be stolen again my the dopers!? This is too much for me to take. Am trying to remember what this weekend represents. But it’s hard. My “payee” Didn’t like my bringing Jesus up. Should hardly be surprised. Will depression get the best of me before my other  circumstances  do?